Your Lack of Conviction is Holding You Back
Or, Reflections on The Relationship Between Art and The Divine
Conviction (Noun): An unshakeable belief in something without need for proof or evidence.
All the successful people I know exist in total conviction. They are sure of themselves. Settled into their skin. They know exactly who they are; what they want to say, and how to say it. From religious figures, to artists, to scientists, to athletes; the common thread stringing their daring lives together is conviction. Unwavering faith and resolution even in the face of obstacles and fear — their own, and others’.
As an artist, I contemplate this in the context of art specifically. All the artists I admire have a distinct voice — they might not know whether it matters to anyone else, but they do know they believe in it. It matters to them. That’s all the matter they need.
I recall feeling this at times, moments where crippling doubt didn’t taint my hand in making and sharing. The doing felt right without question. The sharing felt like an exhale. It’s electrifying. This is flow state, I would think to myself. Ultimately, those were the things that resonated the most. It has been the things that I have shared or created on shaky foundations that crumbled.
Art as a craft is like Jenga. You may be adding, removing, leaving it untouched for years, but one trembling hand is all it takes to destroy everything you’ve built.
There was a Dutch artist I once knew, John Franzen, who engaged in a practice he called “Each Line One Breath”. With every breath he would draw a line as straight as humanly possible. The result was large canvases covered in stretches of black ink (sometimes blood) of lines that started straight, curved, and found their path again.
Herein each line is a reaction to the previous one, is dictated and guided by the breathing rate of Franzen. The irregularities within the structure result from the externalization of the artist’s thoughts, emotions, and reflections.
www.johnfranzen.com
I find this a fascinating metaphor for life. Perhaps the more confidence and steadiness in each step, each breath, the straighter your path. It is reminiscent of the opening verse of the Holy Qu’ran Al-Fatihah, literally translating to “The Opening”, including the prayer for God to “Guide us along the straight path” (The Holy Qu’Ran, 1:6).
I think of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), who is the first to have received these words, and the unwavering conviction with which he led his life and an entire civilization into Islam. Faith in the face of fear, unwavering trust and belief. Conviction.
That kind of belief in a higher force guiding you cannot help but translate into the faith you have in yourself. Which brings me back to the many artists I admire, those who exist in such conviction in their work, who are not shy to express the significance of spirituality in their practice and a deep connection with The Divine.
Art is The Divine. We create in emulation of our Creator. We make in worship of our Maker. I personally believe that the creative spirit living within all of us is the bit of God’s Energy breathed into us (Surah Al-Hijr [26:36], Surah As-Sajdah [32:9]).
This is not the manifestation of a narcissistic God-complex. It is the personal acknowledgement that God, in Omniscience, knew that for humanity to move forward we would need the ability to create out of thin air as we were Created.
Conviction (Noun): A final judgment of guilty in a criminal case and the punishment that is imposed. Synonyms: Condemnation
Is it a coincidence, do you think, that with powerful faith often comes powerful hate? Condemnation from those resentful of your belief. Again, from religious figures to artists to scientists to athletes, so many who held conviction in their views and voices were judged, condemned — convicted for their conviction.
How many artists were shunned and vilified for their unwavering confidence? For daring to say out loud, with their chest, what many feared: the truth. Nina Simone, Kanye West, James Baldwin, Tupac, Lauryn Hill — the list goes on. Voices that know their power call people to their power. To live with conviction is to inspire others to do the same. How else would we all grow?
I have contemplated heavily on this concept, this word conviction, which to me carries the DNA of my destiny, and yours. I have lived a life plagued by the duality of conviction and fear. Conviction got me this far and fear held me back. Conviction that I have what it takes, that I am blessed with an abundance of gifts and opportunities, conviction that I have a purpose that was both bestowed upon me and that I choose everyday to fulfil.
With this deep conviction also came the fear of appearing too confident, too powerful, too sure of myself, too complex, too real — you see how this fear is so concerned with perception? Conviction is not concerned with perception. It exists in pure spite of how it is perceived. The fear of showing conviction is, in the end, ego disguised as humility.
So let this be a manifesto of my commitment to conviction moving forward. As I embark upon this journey of building my craft like Jenga, I am dedicated to one thing: a steady hand, an inhale, an exhale, and a straight path up, and only up. Towards Truth.